The Evil Day
by L.M.T.G
Summary: My April Fools' Day..uh..thingy. Erik is made to do bad things. Poor Erik.


A/n: Just as the title suggests. I've seen Christmas,I've seen Erik's Birthday. I haven't seen an April Fools' Day version.....and as it's my personal favorite minor holiday (*worships whoever came up with this lovely lovely day!*) heh...time for some fun. Once again,I STILL don't own anything *SIGH* At least not anything anyone else owns. That covers it all. ^_^ Phic time!  
  
****  
  
D-day. April 1st. The most insanely evil day of the year,not for everyone of course,some people ignored the day entirely. How dare they. Christine Daae was not one of these people. She loved April Fools' Day. Unfortunatly for two phavorite characters...she was also very creative in her tortures-I mean..jokes.  
  
****  
  
Christine: *creeps silently down to visit Erik,giggling under her breath* I'm gonna make him squeeealll...  
  
Erik: *sitting at his piano,playing softly,not at all hearing the alarm of someone crossing the lake*  
  
Christine: *after crossing the lake,she picks the lock to the door and slips inside* Eriky-poooo...  
  
Erik: *snaps out of his playing trance,looking rather disturbed at the nickname* -Pooo-??  
  
Christine: *runs up to him and glomps him around the waist*ERIKY POO!!!!  
  
Erik: *twitches* Please do not call me that Mlle....  
  
Christine: *snuggles him* I'll call you....Eriky-weariky-poodly-oodly then.  
  
Erik: ............  
  
Christine: Okay! *lets him go* It's time for A.F.D Activity 1!  
  
Erik:......which is? *thinking* 'Dear God,please let it be fling the diva from my home...'  
  
Christine: *giggles* Punjab the Fop!  
  
Erik: ...wha? Are you serious?!  
  
Christine: *nods rapidly* Yah huh!  
  
Erik: COOL! Where is he?  
  
Christine: *points at him* He's standing right there in black with the lasso out. *snicker*  
  
Erik: ...I have never. Ever. Been. Called. A. Fop.  
  
Christine: *grins* First time for everything! Now..Punjab yourself!  
  
Erik: *ponders that a moment then proceeds to attempt to punjab himself..he really only suceeds in putting it around his neck and tugging at the rope a bit*  
  
Christine: Yay! *pounces on him* Now...*fixes her hair* UMMMM! Okay! *bounces again* Go give Ayesha a bath!  
  
Erik: ...She just had one a half hour ago.  
  
Christine: Like a kitty.  
  
Erik: YOU WANT ME TO LICK MY CAT?!  
  
Christine: *nods solmnly* I'll give you a suprise at the end if you do it...a really good one...  
  
Erik: ...*sighs and picks Ayesha up* I'm sorry about this...*lick*  
  
Ayesha: *goes bug eyed for a second before purring and falling limp in his arms*  
  
Erik: ...Should I call a vetrinarian?  
  
Pearl: *peeks her head in from literally nowhere* Vet? What about one?  
  
Erik: Who're you?  
  
Pearl: *goes wide eyed*ERIK!! EEEE! *pounce*  
  
Christine: MINE! *shoves Pearl*  
  
Pearl: *snarls and whips out a punjab jus' like her big bro* MINE you little daughter of a dog harlot!  
  
Erik: *sits down* Such language...  
  
Pearl: *grins back at him* Aren't you proud?  
  
Erik: Should I be?  
  
Pearl: *pouts then just smacks Christine with the knotted end*  
  
Christine: *cries*  
  
Pearl: ...uh..that's bad. *looks back at the now pissed Erik,then toward the torture chamber* I'll take mirages over getting beheaded..thanks. *runs*  
  
Erik: *would chase Pearl...but he can't. So he goes over and comforts Christine* It's alright..  
  
Christine: WAHH! BWAAHHHHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!! BOO HOO!  
  
Erik: Please be quiet. *dead toned,dark voice*  
  
Christine: *hunkers down* Yes mon ange.  
  
Erik: Thank you. Now what's this suprise?  
  
Christine: *grins* A biiiiig one! One you'll really like!  
  
Erik: ....I'm not so sure about this...The last suprise you gave me was so bad it was considered outlawed on that scary PhanPhiction site...  
  
Christine: *giggles evilly* This one is worse..er..better! Really! It's better!  
  
Erik: ...I don't trust you,you know that?  
  
Christine: *nods* Yep.  
  
Erik: Good. What else do I have to do for this 'suprise'?  
  
Ayesha: *gives him a 'curiosity killed the CAT' look*  
  
Erik: I know,I know..you'll be fine.  
  
Ayesha: *thought bubble 'Especially if you lick me again...meeeowww!'*  
  
Christine: *stares at the thought bubble*...Your kitty has a thing for you...  
  
Erik: Yeah,I know..The whole damn world knows...I'm not into beastiality..I swear..  
  
Christine: ...Whichiswhyyoulockedyourselfdowninabasementwithoutevenasinglepornmagandonlyakittythatisnotspayed.  
  
Erik: *blinks at her*...What?  
  
Christine: *whistles innocently*noooootttthiinnggggg....  
  
Erik: Back to the subject...  
  
Christine: *giggle* Uh huh. Go out to the lake and do a few laps.   
  
Erik: *eyes her then proceeds to go out and starts to strip*  
  
Fan Girls: *rush to the other bank,snapping pictures,some fainting as everything but the boxers come off*  
  
Random Fan Girl: OH MY GOD! They've got little pink hearts on them!!  
  
Other Fan Girls: *swoon*  
  
Erik: *blushes and cringes before starting to do laps..as he comes up on the fan girls,he realizes he can't avoid them* Oh shi-  
  
Fan Girls: *pounce,glomp,all but rape poor Erik*  
  
Erik: *screams and dives to the bottom,nearly drowning a few of his groupies as he runs along the bottom and jumps onto the relatively safe bank* I'll...kill...her...  
  
Christine: *grins down at him* Did you like your smallest fan club? There's about 200.....  
  
Erik: *pants and glares at her,slowly standing up and pulling out a fairly wet punjab,laughing weakly* Hand at the level of your eyes Christine....  
  
Christine: Y..you've done enough for your suprise! *runs forward and shoves her lips against his,grabbing him in a bone crushing hug*  
  
Erik: *twitches and just stands there,shaking a bit*  
  
Christine: *pulls back with a big sch-mack sound and a dark laugh*Ha! HA HA HA HA!!! hAHahA!!  
  
Erik: *wipes his mouth,shaking his head* Christine doesn't kiss like that....  
  
Christine: No she doesn't!  
  
Erik: How would you know?!  
  
Christine: *laughs harder as 'she' tosses the mask away*  
  
Erik: *screams*NO!!!  
  
*You really wanna know,don't you?*  
  
*Do you hate me for doing these things to delay this?*  
  
*Shame on you for scrolling. I know you're doing it.*  
  
*You know,let's talk about something else. Do you like kitties? I like kitties.*  
  
*But not like that.*  
  
*You know this Phic started off really innocent and it turned really strange..*  
  
*I think I'm going to get flammed...*  
  
*Maybe I'll buy cheese later so I can make grilled cheese sandwiches..*  
  
*Would that work?*  
  
*Does anyone know?*  
  
*Okay. I'm done*  
  
*I promise I am.*  
  
*Really!*  
  
**snicker* I lieeedd....*  
  
*Okay. I'll shut up now and get back to the story. Nice talking with you!*  
  
*Don't glare at me.*  
  
Raoul: *still wearing Christine's dress* Yes! 'Tis I! Sir FOPSALOT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Erik: *shakes then stares back at the Fan Girls* I think I'd be safer with them...  
  
Raoul: *grabs him around the waist* C'mere my snuggly wuggly bear...  
  
Erik: AHH! NO! Get OFF me! *proceeds to smack him over the head*  
  
Raoul: *laughs insanely and cuddles Erik* Mine mine mine mine minnneee! Not Christy-ineeey's. MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Erik: *twitches*Someone kill me...  
  
****  
  
Christine: *walks along a corridor with Pearl* You know,I didn't think you were serious about that love potion..but it worked!  
  
Pearl: *grins evilly* Well..Erik needs to..experiment. Besides...it was really easy. It should be wearing off any time now...  
  
Christine: *giggles* Do you think they'll trace it back to us?  
  
Pearl: No..I doubt it. Raoul isn't that smart...and Erik doesn't know about me..and he wouldn't suspect you.  
  
Christine: Good point. By the way,Happy April Fools' Day,Pearl.  
  
Pearl: *snickers as a scream comes from eight floors below them* Happy April Fools' Day,Christine..  
  
A/n: Well! That was WARPED! ^.^!! It was REALLY fun to write too..muahahahahaha. Oh well,everyone who's read anything else by me knows I was probably in the rabid Erik fan girl crowd,but..hey..I couldn't help myself! Happy April Fools Day all! 


End file.
